To say the last two years have been challenging is an understatement. They’ve been a journey through grief, upheaval, introspection, and healing—a journey mirrored by the tarot cards I so often turn to for guidance. If you’ve been wondering why I’ve been missing in action from my tarot business, it’s because life has been teaching me some of the hardest lessons, through the very cards I work with.
The Death Card: Loss Beyond Measure
Two years ago, my world began to unravel with the death of one of my siblings. Just as I started to process that devastating loss, the unimaginable happened again—another sibling passed away, suddenly and without warning. The Death card in tarot speaks to endings, transformations, and the inevitability of change. In my case, it represented the literal loss of two of the people I loved most in this world. While Death often signals transitions necessary for growth, it doesn’t soften the pain it brings. Losing two siblings left me shattered, navigating a world that felt unfamiliar without them.
5 of Cups: Grieving What Was Lost
In the wake of such profound loss, I found myself living in the energy of the 5 of Cups. This card captures the ache of grief—the fixation on what has been lost, the heaviness of sorrow, and the struggle to see what still remains. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it doesn’t move in neat, predictable stages. Like the figure in the card, I spent so much time staring at the spilled cups, feeling the weight of what was gone. But over time, I began to notice the upright cups—the support of loved ones, cherished memories, and the quiet realisation that healing was possible, even if it felt distant.
The Tower: Life’s Unpredictable Shocks
As I was grappling with my losses, life threw me another unexpected challenge: a cancer diagnosis. The Tower embodies upheaval—the kind that shakes you to your core and strips away any illusion of control. My diagnosis required two major surgeries, just five months apart. The fear, the uncertainty, and the physical toll were overwhelming, leaving me feeling as though my foundation had been completely shattered. But The Tower teaches that while destruction is painful, it clears the way for new beginnings. Though the journey was gruelling, I held onto hope that I could emerge more resilient, stronger, healthier, and grounded in who I was becoming.
The Hermit: Retreating to Heal
During these years of loss and illness, I turned inward, embodying the wisdom of The Hermit. I withdrew from the external world, including my tarot practice, to focus entirely on healing—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Saying no to others became an act of saying yes to myself. The Hermit teaches us that the answers we seek often lie within, in the stillness of solitude. Journaling, meditating, and allowing myself to feel everything became my guiding lights. It was a time to rediscover who I was amidst so much change and to honour my own needs unapologetically.
The Star: Holding Onto Hope
Throughout it all, The Star has been my beacon. It represents hope, healing, and the faith that even the darkest nights will give way to dawn. Recovery—whether from grief, illness, or life’s challenges—isn’t a straight path. Some days, the light felt impossibly dim, but The Star reminded me that healing is always possible, even if it takes time.
“Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight: I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.”
The Star is a card of hope, healing, and dreams waiting to be fulfilled. It reminds us that even when our goals and possibilities seem far away—like the stars themselves—they are still within reach. By continuing to wish, to hope, and to believe, the future remains bright.
The Magician: Returning to Create
After this time of retreat and reflection, The Magician now guides my return. With renewed clarity and purpose, I see that everything I need to create the life I envision is already within me. The tools, the focus, and the confidence are mine to harness. Building my new website is a first step—a symbol of intention and a promise to work smarter as I re-enter my practice. The Magician reminds us that when we align with our inner power and take inspired action, we can manifest a future that reflects both our growth and our dreams.
Moving Forward
The past two years have been a journey through the tarot—a journey through life’s hardest lessons. The Death card, the 5 of Cups, The Tower, The Hermit, and The Star have all walked with me, guiding me through grief, upheaval, healing, and hope.
As I return to my tarot practice, I bring with me a renewed sense of purpose and compassion. I’ve walked through the darkness and found the light again, and now I hope to help others navigate their own journeys through the cards. If my story resonates with you, know this: healing is possible, even in the face of unimaginable loss and change. The Star reminds us that light and hope are always there, waiting for us to find them.